


Mishima Presents: The Best of Phan-Site

by NieRville



Category: Persona 5
Genre: Conspiracy Theories, Gen, Satire, Sillyness, The Phan Site
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-30
Updated: 2018-01-30
Packaged: 2019-03-11 12:11:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,222
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13523994
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NieRville/pseuds/NieRville
Summary: Mishima's compilation of some of the weirdest posts on the Phan-Site.





	Mishima Presents: The Best of Phan-Site

**Author's Note:**

> This whole fic was inspired by a tweet by @nfoliage_ and wouldn't exist without it. The references to the Illuminati and the SJWs were her idea.

[Hey guys! I wanted to treat you to some fun for a change. I wasn't sure if you ever really read the comments on my site, I mean there was so much of it, so I dug up some of the kookiest stuff in there. Sorry, some of the stuff will be so offensive, but I hope you can see the humor in it! I put in some compliments, too. Please enjoy and I hope I will see you someday again! -admin/YM, or do you think adMYn would be good? Be honest. But I guess it's too late now!]

 

 

 

To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to understand Kamoshida. His motivations are extremely subtle, and with a brain ruined by SJW propaganda there's no chance you'll get what he was like. There's also Kamoshida's realistic outlook, which everyone with a right mind will understand instantly - his personal philosophy is the natural philosophy of all real males. They understand this stuff: the have both the intellectual capacity and the sexual prowess to truly appreciate the depth of his deepness, to realize he's not just right - Kamoshida says something deep about LIFE. As a consequence the phantom thieves and the people who support them, THE ADMIN OF THIS SITE INCLUDED, truly ARE idiots – of course they wouldn't appreciate, for instance, Kamoshida's advances on girls, which is just natural behavior for an alpha. I'm smirking right now just imagining what a beta cuck the leader of the phantom thieves (I'm not writing them as proper nouns) must be, scratching his head and balls wondering why they're never getting laid. What a fool... how I pity him.

And yes by the way, I DO have ladies, a lot of them, in fact. And no, I'm not giving proof. The real ladies and the real men know what I'm talking about, and those ladies that don't, someday will. And even they have have to demonstrate their prowess and their subservience before I will share my thoughts and my love with them.

 

*

 

are the Phantom THIEVES just? JUST? or is Akechi? the CHARIASTMATIC DETECTIVE? look up thedefintino yu idits. i mean, THIEFVS for gods sake. thiefs are outlaws . CHARIMS OTOH means grace of god fgs and you srlsy think theres a question at all? outlows vs. gods gif?t fucking retads

 

*

 

Are they really purporting to make us believe they are a species of supernatural beings, like the Phantoms they claim they are? The postulation is beyond unbelievable — it is downright ridiculous. There is too much superstition going on in our world in the first place and it is an insult to all people of sufficient intellectual capabilities (i.e. above a brain-damaged dog) to stipulate the presence of something supernatural or even to hint at a such a transcendent force. I don't even want to address the issues they claim to have done. They lost every ounce of credibility in my visual receptors once they took on the name of the Phantom Thieves. Furthermore, their actions lost all objectivity claim to validity after that.

 

*

 

yall wanna know who the phantom thieves really are? i tell you who they are. suguru kamoshida, ichiryusai madarame and junya kaneshiro. no one else changed their hearts. they did. then they banded together. for what purpose? to kill medjed. yeah that's right: kill. not take out or take their heart but kill. that thieving things was a smoke screen. i mean: kamoshida is the courage, madarame is the vision and kaneshiro is the big motherfucking wad o' yen. they banded together to take out medjed. they even did it from inside the jail. they got connections! they got everything they need to pull off a stunt like that. everything was a publicity stunt and a setup to show those hackers nerds how real crime works. it's a big conspiracy centered on three people, nothing supernatural about it.

 

it was a inside job plain and simple

 

*

 

Kamoshida was a shitty bastard who ruined lives. Effin time someone took him out!

 

*

 

Actually everyone's focused on the wrong things. Everyone wants to know who the Phantom Thieves are. The fact is that it doesn't matter. Take a look at the bigger picture. The biggest picture. And because all Truth starts with mathematics, examine the numbers.

Everyone knows that the Sadistic Teacher Kamoshida received his judgment on April 30th, which is the 120th day of the year. Do you know what the number 120 and abused teenagers have in common? Sodom. 120 Days of Sodom by the nefarious Marquis de Sade. Yes, the same de Sade who gave the very name to Sadism.

It was a symbol. A Symbol, people. Don't look at this with your insect brain, but your Brain of Truth. Drop the Veil, and see even further into the Truth. When did Kamoshida fall? In the 5th month. What does the number 5 symbolize? First and foremost, it is the Number of Man. He was the Teacher of Worldly Things, corrupt to the bone, and his lies were brought to Light. Madarame, the False Prophet of Beauty fell, or rather, was dethroned and humiliated, in the 6th month. The Devil's Number. And Kaneshiro lost his all in the month of God, the Seventh Month. It was the month where the True God took the place of Plutus, the god of Money.

That is Correct. The Phantom Thieves are doing the Work of God. It does not matter who the individual Thieves are. For all we know, in our limited knowledge without a capital k, they might not even exist. We all merely attributes of God: variables in the Great Equation which equals GOD.

 

*

 

u r all dense i heard this boy shouting out loud that their the pts i mean the guy confessed

 

*

 

JAHAHAHA you think they are school kids. Why would Japanese schoolkids be known across the WORLD. It's the global conspiracy. CIA started it. See their record in S. America.

 

*

 

I can't believe people still think they exist.

 

*

 

this SITE IS THE BEST lolmao

 

*

 

It was the ILLUMINATI culling its weakest members. The victims were all powerful people. The elite. You might say Kamoshida wasn't and hey you might be right I dunno. Maybe that asshole was just target practice. Or maybe he wasn't. Teachers ARE a literally the elite. They BRAINWASH KIDS. How much more Illuminati can you get? There not all just BUSINESS MOGULS and SHEIKS and MOVIESTARS. They need agents close to PEOPLE too. Kamoshida the gym teacher was an Olympic athlete fcol so OF COURSE he was ILLUMINATI. And art world? THE YAKUZA? OKUMURA? I mean I'm not the first person in the world to suggest that hamburger joints are the BEST PLACE to spread propaganda AND nerve poison. EVERYONE eats in those places. EVERYONE. We need understand that we are not just BRAIN we are also BODY and our BRAIN IS BODY. We eat poison we think poison. We can be BRAINWASHED BY FOOD AND DRINK. WAKE UP.

Shit I'm positive they'll never publish this post b/c ITS THE TUTH

And Shido? SHIDO. THE PRIME MINISTER. ILLUMINATI. It all was just a WARNING SIGN and CUTTING OFF THE FINGERS and EXTERMINATING THE WEAKEST LINK. IT'S EVOLUTION.

 

*

 

[Oh, this was great! I'll be in Tokyo next month. Let's meet up! -R]


End file.
